FadingAna (fadingana) wrote in anonymous_ed,

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post surgical

So I had my gallbladder taken out today which was painful! I was sent home with some uber strong pain pills though,thank goodness. I have been so sick the last few weeks and unable to keep down much solid food so fasting has been so easy lately which is great and now my stomach has shrunk so I am rarey feeling hungry. I was actually "dieting" in a very healthy manner before the gallbladder attacks started. I went from 265 to 226 from March to about July 4th. But then I got sick and started losing much faster. I weighed in at 210 today before my surgery. Now I am sort of worried that I'll gain a lot back because I will be able to hold food down again. But I don't really WANT to eat. BUT my tummy is so sore from the operation and I have to take my pain pills which are supposed to be taken with food in your stomach or you'll get sick. Could be good cuz then I wont want to eat cuz I'll feel ill BUT could be bad if I just throw up the pain pills. I really don't know what to do. I have been sooo freaking fat for like 3 years now and I can't stand it anymore. I am finally losing again and I don't want to lose any momentum. My lowest weight ever was 98 and I don't want to be that low again. I would love to be around 115 but for now I am focused on getting under 200 as fast as possible and then 175 then 150. This is like the 3rd time I've had to get under 200. Every time I go into recovery I balloon at a rapid rate and even eating normal amounts of food,it doesn't matter...I still gain.The only way for me to lose is to really focus and track every single calorie,and how on earth can a "recovering" anorexic avoid a relapse doing that? Impossible. To lose fast I have to get drastic. I can't wait until I'm healed enough from surgery to exercise but that will be a few weeks. Any advice about how to not gain while my body is recovering or what to do about the pain pills? Sorry to rant but it's the only way to really explain my current situation! Anyways I'll be off work and laying around for like 3 weeks so look me up on AIM if you wanna chat/support each other! my email is psalm91comforts@yahoo.com or you can search by my full name Jaclyn Bennett
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